Romeo & Juliet
by LisaFranceTL
Summary: The famous story of Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet brought up to date. The lovers will do everything to be married despite some adventures and the disagreement of their family. This fanfiction mixing humor and parody is made up of 6 acts.


Act 1 : the party

**The Capulets organize the traditional ball, a sacred party as we have rarely seen, totally forbidden to Montaigu it goes without saying. Romeo went there anyway even though he did not even receive an invitation on Facebook. But thanks to is small size, Romeo ****foils ****the guards. ****He arrives**** at the ball to squat the buffet and this is good because Romeo met the eye of juliet and falls in love, one of the other**

_Rap music at the opening of the ball._

Romeo : Hello pretty young lady I'm romeo, I'm young, spurce and noble ! How are you on this beautiful evening ?

Juliet : Hi romeo, my name is juliet and I am a very pretty princess.

Romeo : Where do you live ?

Juliet : I live in Drancy, near the crossroads, towards the driving school. And you ?

Romeo : I live in Aubervilliers.

Juliet : Romeo, our families are rival, they are like oil and water, ying and yang, people with teeth and nougat, I should not even talk to you.

Romeo : In falling on you, my soul tells me that you are the woman of my life you are radiant, I love you !

Juilet : Me, your extreme thinness almost unhealthy does not bother me…

**While Romeo and juliet frolic, Tybalt, the cousin of Juliet arrives at the party and discovers that the Montaigu are encrusted. Romeo runs away to escape the big villain of the play that happens**

Juliet_ aloud_ : Oh no my very cruel uncle makes his entrance, provided that he did not see Romeo, cousin I did not speak to any Montaigu !

Tybalt : If ever I discover that a Montaigu has entered this house, scap direct

Juliet : Don't worry cousin, but why are you there ?

Tybalt** : **Uhhh, basically it was for the wifi code

Act 2 : The balcon

**Just before leaving the bash, Romeo hear Juliet call his from her balcony, yes, because Juliet has a balcony because she has money to pay for a studio wall placed in Paris**

Juliet _from his balcony :_ Romeo where are you ?

Romeo : Here my ladylove, I was on Instagram

Juliet : I love you like crazy, like a soldier, like a movie star

Romeo : Kiss me as you love me

Juliet : You're the one that I want, ho hooo hooo

**And this is the moment when Juliet invites Romeo to join her. **

Romeo can not catch Juliet's hand because he is too small. The later decides to go down

**Now and finally this act, Romeo and Juliet exchange eternal vows of love.**

Romeo : I love you

Juliet : Me too

Act 3 : The negotiation

**And it is on these words of love that Romeo and Juliet decided to marry. The young boy must therefore convince Friar Lawrence who is a priest.**

Romeo : Brother Laurent here you are, I need you to unite me to Juliet, the woman of my life, the one I love

Lawrence : There you ask me something a bit complicated, you need a protocol before, a set up….

Romeo : But nothing can fit between Juliet and me

Lawrence : But the problem is precisely that the two families are in conflict

Romeo : Can you marry me to Juliet ?!

Lawrence : You annoy me ! But what do you like about this chick ?

Romeo: Listen to me , I like everything at home, can you marry me with Juliet ?

Lawrence: So I hear what you say, only it's really hot for me, priest is a real job, I have to respect the rules and….

_Romeo takes out his wallet and slips him a bill of 500 $_

Lawrence: Alright I'll marry you

Act 4 : The wedding

_Wedding music, we see Juliet with her long white dress and behind the altar, the priest doing dabs_

**Friar Lawrence, having accepted the wedding against a small bill, calmly, therefore proceeds to the union of the two lovebirds.**

Romeo makes his entrance.

Lawrence: I grant Romeo and Juliet, the sacrement of their wedding, through Jesus Christ, Our Lord, the boss, promise you fidelity for all your life

Romeo : Yes, for all our life

Juliet : Yes, for all our life

Lawrence : We will proceed to the whishes of the bride and groom but on condition, as the tradition of my church, I marry you if only you pull strings for the priest at the wedding of Prince Harry and Megane Markle

Lawrence _whisper :_ _I have always loved the royal family_

Lawrence : So that you may be reunited in life and your love pronounced, exchange your consents

Romeo : Juliet, do you want to be my wife ?

Juliet : Yes, I want to be your **female**, and you Romeo do you want to be my husband ?

Romeo : Yes, I want it

Lawrence : Listen now you can high -five the bride

_Romeo and Juliet do their _high -five _in front of the appalause of the crowd_

Act 5 : The confrontation

**Do you figure, that Tybalt watched the surveillance cameras from the start feast and he realized that Romeo was attending the bash, so he was pretty revered. They decided to sttle it old-fashioned on a ring.**

Romeo : Listen dude, I married your cousin in secret, so we are the same family we do not fool

Tybalt : What is this story ? I wanted to fight me.

Romeo: But we're from the same family, go take off your gloves

Tybalt : I wanted to beat you… which game are you strong ?

Romeo : We make a little Mario Kart ?

_Aftrer a few minutes_

**Romeo won, but Mercutio Romeo's best friend having been made aware of the fight decides to interverne to defends his dear comrade. **

Mercutio : I can save my friend Romeo !

_Tybalt then gives a blow of sword in the back of Mercutio_

Mercutio _with a feverish voice_ : I died so quickly, when I took a 4 – hour train to come from Belgium, you really had to ?

_Mercutio dies_

**However, Romeo took a rage of rage decided to kill Tybalt**

Romeo : Did you do that Tybalt ?

Tybalt : Yes

Romeo: Give me your sword

_Romeo takes Tybalt's sword and kill him_

Act 6: The poison

**The next day, Juliet learns that her father wants to marry her to another boy, which she obviously refuses because she wants Romeo. She asks Friar Lawrence to help her, he has a small laboratory behind his church.**

Juliet: Brother Laurent, in fact I would like to die a very short time, so that people think that I'm dead, and like that then I revisit and I can leave Drancy with Romeo.

Lawrence : Then, I have a poison, you ingested it you will die for 45 years and after you make up

Juliet : 45 years of death ? So I call it a death. I would need a shorter period or I die and after I revisit

Lawrence : I have a bottle or you die a second and after you revisit

Juliet : No, no, I want something between the two flask

Lawrence: And you mix, well !

Juliet: Thank you very much, that's exactly what I was looking for. Now what are you going to do brother Laurent Laurent, is that I'm going to drink that and you warn Romeo that I'm going to die because otherwise he'll say to himself, Ah, well, she's dead

Lawrence: Worry you, I manage

_Brother Laurent sends a text to Romeo_

Lawrence: Do not worry Juliet… ah a new video of the pope, _he goes to watch the video whithout sending a message to Romeo_

**Friar Lawrence failed his mission, he did not warn Romeo. Juliet took the poison and lay down. Here is falsely dead, Romeo arrives and discovers his ladylove.**

Romeo: Ah shit Juliet you were the love of my life, I will miss you terribly, I will never be able to live whithout you.

**Romeo is now trying to kill himself desperately.**

Romeo : How could I end my days to join her in the after life

_Friar Lawrence arrives_

Lawrence : Then I have a poison, you take it and you die for 45 years and…

Romeo : Give it to me

_While Romeo drinks the poison, Juliet wakes up and gets up from her bed, however he has not seen it._

Romeo : I'm ready to join you Juliet argggghhh

_Juliet wakes up and discovers Romeo dead_

Juliet : Yes I'm alive, ooohhhh he's dead I can not stay alive I'm going to kill myself again, brother Laurent give me your flask.

Lawrence: You can bring Romeo back to life, the only way to wake hi mis a sincere love kiss

**Juliet leans towards the love of her life and gently lays her lips against those of Romeo**

_Romeo wakes up_

Romeo: Juliet my love, we are finnaly together until the end of time

**And this is how this version of Romeo and Juliet comes to an end, a happy ending that has nothing to do with the original. Verona and save the Capulets and Montaigu come to terms. Long live lovers**


End file.
